How much to be involved?

How much to be involved?

So, how involved should you be in classes while class is going on?

A lot of parents will ask me, sometimes they don't ask me as much as they should: how involved do you want me in classes? First it depends. There's kind of two roles you have. If you're a volunteer that's kind of helping out, or if you're over there watching, just relaxing.

If you're over there watching, clap for your kid, clap for the other kids. Good job is fine. Not too much coaching. The people who are out here are trying to make sure they have their attention, making sure they're able to get them to do whatever it is they need to do.

Now, if you want to be part of that, either because you're interested in helping out, and most schools love having a little extra help, or you have some experience and I volunteer as tribute, get with the instructor after classes and ask. Hey, I think I'd be interested in helping out. That makes me really happy when that happens. Then when you come out, they're going to tell you, all right, I'm going to conduct class, and they'll give you some guidelines.

The way I explain it to people is, because I have a music background: if you're playing tambourine, play it right with a smile on your face, and don't stand in front of the singer. Let the person who's in front that's trying to do the thing do the thing, and back them up. If other kids are having trouble outside of your kid, help them out. But within the context of what's going on, you're still backing up the instructor.

And I think the final thing, that's really the deal. Back up the instructor. So if the sparring match is going on and your kid's making an obviously dumb mistake, you have to let them make the mistake. Sometimes the mistakes are the things that teach you more than the successes. And it's hard. I know if my kid does something weird, it feels like a reflection on me, but it's not a reflection on me. That's just him being a kid trying to learn. And you're not a failure when they screw up. They're not really a failure either. They're just trying to learn. Give them the space to fail. Give them the space to bang their head against the problem a few times. That's why you brought them to us. So let them do it.