How old should my child start?

Friends and family ask me this one a lot. What is a good age to start martial arts? There is not a great number for that.

My son is about two years and four months. He is not quite old enough for class, and it is not because of his age. He only listens to what I say about a third of the time. The first hurdle is whether he or she can follow directions. I have had kids who can do that beautifully at two and a half. I have had six-year-olds who, when I say let’s all sit in a circle, stand up and run around the room yelling. It depends on the kid.

The next thing is whether they like to move and they are actually excited to go. If they can listen, they are psyched about class, and they are not falling apart from separation anxiety, you are in good shape. The younger they are, the more the parents have to be involved. At twelve you can drop them off and go get groceries. At six and under, we tend to do parent-and-me, and that works great. They get a lot of their cues from mom and dad. You model how to sit, how to ask a question. If the school is not set up that way, the class is usually faster, more games, less detail, and you do not need as much parent involvement. Go and see. Be an informed buyer.

They say the best time to plant a fruit tree was five years ago, and the second best time is today. Martial arts is a little like that. Sooner is better for attention, friends, confidence. Do not be surprised if they cannot do the whole class. Here it is 45 minutes for that age. If they last 30, that is great. And if they are one of the sillier kids, as long as they are not ruining anyone else’s experience, let them be a silly heart. I do not want to know a six-year-old who is not. If you are not sure, ask the instructor. They will tell you.

Do not compare the little girl who follows every direction to the little boy whose parent is just trying to keep him from picking his nose. That boy is not an idiot. He is a little boy. Give him some grace. Worry less about the birthday. Worry about whether they can take a request, carry it out, and not get overly freaked out by new stuff. If you are on the mat with them, that age can drop a lot lower, because they are more confident with mom and dad there helping raise a warrior.